Waiting for yesterday 🍃

“And sure enough waiting will end if… you can just wait long enough”

She just stood there, staring out of her window into the horizon, waiting, hoping for wonders. Tonight’s taking time but how much more before the morning breaks. The daylight ray gleamed through the crack of the window, illuminating her dingy, quiescent space. Her heart shattered yet again, waiting for something that seems light years away. She search through her arms and thighs for any new signs of incise but to her relive there was none although she felt the need for it to be there.

Wait.

What is it like to wait for something or most commonly someone? Your hands bustling around with the device, or tapping on the table anxiously, fiddling with the fingers, or sometimes going out for a run to try and take your mind of it. Although we try to engage ourselves in something, the curiousness lurks beneath the heart aching to know what’s going to happen next. Like you are seated watching a thrilling movie and all the dead giveaway led to the killer but the killer itself was found dead. That’s when you are dreading to know who’s the killer. That moment, the feeling right there drives you nuts but you try to not plaster that distressed look on your face.

To wait for something is like a child on Christmas day. The day before, they would get all hyper, jittery kind of feeling as they are left in suspense to what Santa Claus has in store for them and at that very time of the year, the Sandman works extra harder to make those little happy feet fall asleep. Getting up the next day, the first thought that crosses their mind is the visit from Santa with their christmas gifts. They would sprint down the stairs to the christmas tree in search of their gifts. Unfortunately, not everyone makes it on Santa’s nice list. Some maybe ecstatic and others might end up feeling disappointed as they waited all year long for their  dreams and wishes to come true.

“I waited for her to say yes but ended up her saying yes to the guy whom she just met”, “I waited years for him to come back from his mission but only his flag and badges came to me” , “I waited for someone to adopt me”. What about those heartbreaking moments where we wait for something phenomenal to supervene but only ended up as a calamity. Moments like these is where we assume or convince ourselves that this is the end of the world.

In life, there are bound to be a bitter pill where we devour on or forced to take by many chances or reasons. I believe things happen for a reason and this broken arrow can still take it’s aim but to a different pathway. “I’m tired of taking my aim, when I keep on missing, there’s gotta be better way, gotta be a better way,” There’s always a different way, we shouldn’t wait for the same reason but find plenty other reasons to move on.  The setback we have in life is there to teach us a lesson or make us learn  and never repeat the same false step.

What if, instead of pining for the next big moment, we surrendered to the wait? Learning to live in those so-called “boring” times with more intentional? What if we fell in love with the in-between, relishing the interruptions  instead of resenting them?  Slow down. If we wait for the experiences of a lifetime, we may miss the life i our experiences. All we have is now, and we might as well take our time doing it. Let go. Whenever we get stuck at the traffic, or oh hold while you’re on the line with someone, or waiting to pick up takeouts at the counter, we must remember all of these signs are telling us we are not in control. Be grateful. Remember to get from here to your desired destination the waiting might be exhausting but appreciate the small things that brought you there.

  

 Maybe what we call “mundane,” what feels boring and ordinary, is really how we spend our lives. And we have an opportunity to make of it what we will, to resent its lack of adventure or rejoice in the beauty.